How can i motivate myself?

I am a 38 year old man with low self esteem although i don't wallow in that fact and the people that know me would not have a clue i feel like this. I believe it stems from childhood until i became aware of the fact i had a lazy eye or as others like to call it crossed eyed. I had corrective surgery at the age of 23 and don't believe consciously that this is a problem for me now. Although i still feel uneasy talking to some one eye to eye. I am fairly intelligent and constantly have battles in my mind about the right things to do to get a life. I have been in full time employment for 10 years in the same job and have no money worries, i have plenty of friends but cannot find motivation to do simple things like keep my flat in clean order or make a life for my self. It makes no sense to me yet i cannot change. HELP!