My mother doesn't want help however she is aggravating me?

My mothers man ped a month ago..before he ped he was in the hospital due to cardiac arrest he had in the cab and fell into a coma I stood be her through all of it. I don't expect her to get over the situation 1,2,3..she lived in her apt for over 30yrs and the guy she was with was up there only 6mths at her apt. She refuses to be in her apt the only time she is up there is to gather clothes to go to everybody elses homes I don't allow drinking she drinks like no tommorrow so she would go to other peoples homes, they would be sober but allow her to drink! If she was in her apt I would be up there with her or she would be downstairs in my apt..but what's starting to get annoying is that I have a life of my own..school, trying my best to seek another job since I was laid off a while back and so forth. She doesn't even want to go to her apt alone by herself for a few mins to do the essential things such as take a shower, comb her hair without me literally going with her because she is so scarred! She claims she not going back to her apt no time soon but making my life a living hell, she wants me to be her servant, not her child. That's how she treated my stepfather and thats exactly why he left last year before she start going with this man that ped. I gave her a few situations she should do in order to be stronger..I suggested grief counseling, coming with me to different places that I go to socialize with people, go back to school..she literally said she doesn't want to be around people and she doesn't want counseling. It's aggravating because she is rejecting help yet making me feel like a prisoner in my own apt! Anytime I have things to do I do tell her..sometime she may forget but anyway you cut it she stays arguing with me because I as an adult have things to do! She is treating me like I child wanting to know my every move and when I am coming back to my own apt which I pay rent for!?! This woman had me in tears yesterday she was stressing me out so much! Despite she know my discomfort I wouldn't throw my own mother out the apt...at the same time it's a threat because if she isn't with me she will go to other peoples apt besides her own and drink her life away. I feel it's a burden that she is so weak she will drink if she isn't around my uncle or myself and I feel I shouldn't have to constantly babysit a 54yr old woman that is shooting down all the help in the world she can receive..Right now without exaggeration she is effecting my own health I'm stressed out, annoyed, upset and can't even concentrate on my own business or other personal matters..Am I such a bad daughter?!?!