I lied to someone online..please help...?

First off, I dont need to hear the typical bs like..well you should have thought about that before you lied and find someone real. So if youre gonna be rude then dont bother answering cause im on the edge of breaking down if i hear another negative comment today. I lied to this amazing guy out of fear because at the time i was 17, he was 22, and he told me that he cannot talk to anyone under 18 because he is in the army. I freaked. I clicked with him so i lied and told him i was 21. I faked everything. my look, my age, parts of my life style. I did not think that me and him were gonna go beyond friends, not even that, like people who barely talk, which is why i didnt think it was a big deal. We talked everyday and i felt something with him. And the reason i didnt tell him the truth was because he got shipped to germany for 2 years. He sent me letters, i sent him letters. We always had to be talking to each other in some way. A year came up on July 22 (my birthday and the day i turned 18) a couple days after that i guess he was looking around and found my real facebook page and he saw the real me and everything fit. My birthday was the same my posts were exactly what i told him i was doing. That night, the night he knew, we talked like normal he was a little different in his voice and he was questioning me i could tell, and before we hung up he didnt say he loved me but everything else was the same. I woke up the next day and he told me to come clean. I figured he'd be angry but I did tell him the truth. He was furious. He talked to me a little, put me down, i let him know several times how totally sorry i was. I told him idk how many times that my personality is the same, which is the thing that made him love me. He told me all the time. But now he will not talk to me. Ive sent him so many messges just apologizing trying to convince him that i AM the same. Now he has blocked me from facebook, myspace, everything. And it really tortures me. I know I deserve it but its literally killing me. Its hard to move on cause we DID have something. He is amazing end of story and its heartbreaking. I really need someone to talk to me. Advice? Am i totally hopeless? my email is emilyb2010@yahoo.com. Anyone who would like to give me additional information...