I'm biual and feel out of gender I would like some advice about estrogen.?

Hello my name is Nate and I'm and feel out of gender. I want to advice on taking estrogin and the side effects in men. I have never felt very happy as a man I want a more femine body but I don't want a change or to become a full I want to blend the lines of my gender I have been crossdressing and wereing femine cloths for the past 2 years. I already have naturaly curvy hips and very small perky man aswell as a good from what I'm told. I want to increase these features about me aswell as gain anyother femine features. I do have one problem with this I want to have biological kids one day but from what I have reaserched estrogen kills you testicals. What I want to know is, is there a point of no return and can I get at least some of my body changed without destroying my techicals? � �